Change

Xpat Magazine September, 2007

changeI pen this letter from a remote stretch of shore on Kootenay Lake, an enormous, unmolested body of water hundreds of kilometers long, slung in a deep valley in British Columbia’s Rocky Mountains. As a child I spent countless summers running barefoot through these cedar forests. Today is the first time I’ve reclined on this quiet shore in more than 1,000 days; 1,000 days since I’ve lain on this rocky beach, smelled the clean mountain air perfumed with cedar and gazed at a night sky flooded with more stars than darkness. It’s sunny, but not hot. The waves lap at the pebble shore where I sit against driftwood in the shade of a poplar tree. I should feel at ease but I don’t. I’m lonely and I’m frightened.

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The Top Twenty Bizarre English Names in Taiwan

Xpat Magazine June, 2007

Top_20_NamesAt least once in their career, most English teachers in Taiwan stand in the unique position of naming children, or encountering a Taiwanese person, young or old, with a desire to assume an inappropriate English name. Sometimes kindie teachers, spurred by lack of sleep and unmetabolized alcohol, give kids wacky names for their own amusement, but more often Taiwanese people choose these names themselves and are unwilling to give them up despite the protest of their conscientious foreign educators and friends. Either way, Taiwan is a cornucopia of strange, incongruous, and hilarious names. I scoured various Internet bulletin boards in search of the most ingenious, insulting and comical English names that local xpats have come across. Here are the best that I found.

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The Taiwan Angels’ Tour for Toys: A Lesson in Perspectives of Poverty

Xpat Magazine June, 2007

t_angels_tour“Some of these kids are really poor,” Robert told me. “Some don’t even have shoes. If you see it you might cry.”

I was in the Cosby Saloon in Tainan talking to the owner, Robert Lo. He stood behind the bar with his back straight and his chin up. His black shirt was tucked tightly into his jeans beneath a prominent belt buckle.

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From the Desk 07.03

Xpat Magazine March, 2007

from_desk_4The definition of ‘Lookism’: discrimination against or prejudice towards others based on their appearance

The average hourly earnings of men with “below-average looks” and “above-average looks” compared to the national average in North America respectively: -8.9% and +5.4%

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A Kiss from Kiki

Published under the pseudonym Salvatore Paradisio
Xpat Magazine March, 2007

“…there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and not try to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain.”
Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) American Beauty (1999)

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