funny

Riding the Crocodile V2.0

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Note: This is a heavily reworked version of an article that originally appeared in Highway 11 Magazine. Don’t miss the photo gallery from the farm at the bottom of this page!

I tipped back my cowboy hat, which I had brought to wave in the air while riding the crocodile, and sized up the dinosaur-like behemoth. His head looked like that of a crocodile, but his body looked more like it belonged to giant mutant toad.  His belly spread out on the pavement beneath him like a green leather sack of water.

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Why I Travel

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Every travel writer asks himself, “Why do I travel?” I first asked myself this question while on the road from Mexico to Guatemala.

I had been pondering the question while riding in a collectivo, which is essentially a mini-bus crammed so full of Mexican’s carrying children and chickens that it seems ready to burst.  It had been a long time since my last trip, and I’d only been on the road for a few days, so I was still getting back into the swing of traveling.  We were driving from the Mexican city of Tapachula to the Guatemalan border.

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Advice that I Gave a Graphic Designer that Worked for My Indie Magazine in Taiwan

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Note: This is just a little humor piece that I wrote for submission to McSweeneys.net, but was not picked up.  Please note that it is not true.  All of the graphic designers at Xpat were of the highest moral standing.  Ok, well, maybe not that high.  But they were certainly above feeding ladyboys roofies (as far as I know).

Move up the title.  Increase the saturation of the photograph of the monkey feeding the pig. Justify the type.

Try the goat noodles at the place on the corner by the park. They’re fantabulous.

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Up the Nose Without a Guide

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Originally published in XelaWho March, 2009
up_the_nose

The Mayan Nose, a peak that resembles the profile of a person reclining, looms over Lake Atitlan.  When you’re in San Pedro the Nose is a more attractive peak than the volcano because, whereas the volcano always lurks behind you, this nasal peak stares you in the face, challenging you to go up the Nose.

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